Kaleidoscope

Talking to a few friends a couple weeks ago, we got on the topic of this little blog of mine. One of the reasons I like writing a blog and getting my ideas out there is to enable feedback from others, as well as to get them thinking about things that they may not have realized, or to relate to someone without really ever meaning to specifically (as I have stated in previous blogs). These friends I talked to about my writing gave me very good feedback, and a lot to think about. One of the points made was that a lot of the time I contradict myself in my writing, or seem unsure of what point I’m trying to make. I was thinking about this today, and I realized that I don’t necessarily consider this a bad trait in my musings. I think that, more than anything, that’s just who I am and how I think about things. More than for any other purpose, the way I write is for observation and reflection on things I think or see or encounter in others. I feel like there aren’t very many things in life that anyone knows for sure. How can I really know anything for sure? I rarely even know how I feel about things for sure!
The focus of my writing a lot of the times is not to make a specific point, and even if it was there is no possible way that I could do this effectively because I am so unsure of absolutely everything that it would just end up in twelve different directions anyways! That’s me! I see and feel so many sides of things, and I never really know for sure that this is the way things are, that this is the way things should be. I feel like everything is different to everyone, and I like that I can realize that and appreciate that. Life would be so dull and arrogant with a vision that everything I think or know is the way it is, the way it should be. I appreciate the diversity of people and the fact that there are so many ways that EVERYTHING can be interpreted! It makes the world so rich and interesting. I like to think that I can see things one way, but I also love to see the other ways of interpreting a certain topic or feeling or thought. Or ANYTHING really. Also, I am just such a perpetual clusterfuck that I feel that I would be unable to focus on one thing one way. That’s human!
Another big utility of this blog for me is to kind of talk things out, to figure them out for myself and come to potential conclusions through the act of writing and getting my thoughts down. And I really like to know what other people think, and that maybe they feel the same fucked up way that I do about things. I like this about myself, and so I like this about my writing. Even if it is incoherent and wishy-washy and maybe a bit hard to follow. I hope this isn’t the case, but if it is I hope that enjoyment can still be found in reading what I write because it thrills me to have people read and react to my thoughts and creations. No matter how messy it all might be. Life is messy. Life is lovely, and mess most certainly makes it lovelier.
P.S. Cook: Notice the use of structured paragraphs! Yay me!