Eye of the Beholder

I have mentioned in past posts about never really being able to know anything for sure. I truly believe this to be true. Nothing can ever be certain in life (exept death, and maybe even love), but I also feel that there are a great many things that can be learned. Things that you can almost know for sure. Two of the things that I have learned and wish to write about today are these: You can't make anyone love you, and you can't make anyone stop loving you.
I know the thought of wanting someone to not love you seems like a strange concept. Trust me if I was reading this a few years ago I would think I was crazy. But haven't you ever just wanted something different from someone who wanted something different from you? I'm being vague. Have you ever just wanted your friend back after they somehow convinced themselves to love (love here is refering to feelings of love, not necessarily actual love) you? Perhaps not, and I feel like those of you who haven't are far more fortunate that those of you who have. I know it might not seem that way, trust me I do know, but those feelings of love change things. Even if these changes are ever so subtle, they still exist somewhere in the back of the mind. And I also feel like once you love a friend, it never goes away, as I have been in the opposite position as well. I feel like it always sticks around a little bit in the peripherals of any continued friendship. That looming unrequited thing. The elephant in the room so to speak.
Sometimes I think about this occurance, of falling in love with friends. More topically, of friends falling in love with me. Love, again, in the loosest sense. And I think sometimes that maybe if I were ugly to people it would more rarely happen. I have a friend who is undeniably gorgeous and she is certainly plagued by this, it seems almost constantly. I feel like when you love someone's mind and soul as you would a friend, an aestheticly pleasing outer demeanor just confuses and complicated the situation. And someone who you wouldn't necessarily consider romantically if they were ugly (in your opinion) becomes something more to you. The word plague here is I think appropriate, for as much as people strive for beauty, I think it can also be a curse. When you have it, its all people see. When you have it no one cares whats underneath. I'm not speaking out of personal experience here per se, I just believe this to be true. And why is it that beauty is so coveted and revered? Yes, it is pleasing to the eye, but I think also we have been primed for beauty since we could understand the concept. The example I use is heroines of Disney movies. Beautiful women whose ultimate fate is nothing but finding love, and happiness that rests on one thing and one thing alone: finding their perfect prince. And yes there are some who are great women doing great things. But the main description of these women is primarily that they are exceptionally beautiful. What type of expectations is that priming us to have for ourselves? What type of standards is that setting for the "princes" of the world? And this is only the beginning. But I think that outer beauty has become such an important part of everyday life that people have begun to rever it far too much. And I know this argument has certainly been made before. I think that flaws should be seen as blessings rather than curses. I feel like flaws and insecurities enable a person to develop such character. Character, which is really what should be revered. For me personally, looking at something that is flawed, that is cracked or damaged or old or dusty or cheap or simple is so much more interesting and breathtaking than something that is new and packaged and smooth and shiny and modern. But I'm not to say whats beautiful or what isn't. Who is to say whats beautiful and whats not? I don't think that this can ever be said for sure either! Why? Because beauty certainly is in the eye of the beholder. This phrase may seem cliche but I have such a strong belief in its truth. I'm sure many people find Megan Fox beautiful, and I know Robert Pattison has been deemed handsome. But neither of these people fit that category for me personally. Give me a James McEvoy and I'll be over the moon. Celebrities are a poor example to be using, but they illustrate my point quite nicely. That point being that what is beautiful to one person might seem average to the next. One thing may be intriguing to someone, and ellicit disgust in someone else. I feel like the same is true for people. And althought the "don't judge a book by its cover" argument is sometimes extremely difficult to follow, I also believe that the content of things can make their shells so much more appealing. Whats inside a person can make them the most gorgeous creature who ever crossed your path. And although I cannot know any of this for sure, I firmly believe in its distinct possibility.